xp_shadowcat | (no subject)

Every time I see the COH pop up in the news (which happens far too often, even if it is on the back page or a line somebody typed on Reddit), I remember a funeral in Chicago.

It was an old friend of mine from ballet class. She and I stayed in touch, not a lot but a line here and there in email. But we're the same age so when she was killed at the age of 23, it hit me hard. Real hard. She'd never said she was a mutant but then again, I guess I should also say that she never said she wasn't. And the way things are, the way they've always been, should I fault her for that?

But either way, I still don't know if she was. Certainly no one expected it when we first heard the shouting outside the walls of the church.

Her mother hadn't started crying yet. That woman managed to hold it together all through the service, even when people started talking about Julie and the things we remembered about her whether it was how she used to wear mismatched socks on purpose or the time that she saved another kid from drowning at her own birthday party. (Well, kind of. It was pretty shallow water.) I followed Julie's parents out the doors of the church and when they stood there and saw all these signs... It was then that Lorraine started to cry.

I can't describe what it feels like, to see something like that. White sign after white sign after white sign. A wall of hate. Messages for someone who might not have even deserved them. Messages that were actually meant for someone like me.

My mother was there and she held my hand so hard that I could barely feel my fingers. Later, I'd open my palm and see little half-moons from her fingernails in it. My head started aching like it used to when I wasn't much more than a kid and she knew it, I could tell. She just kept repeating over and over, "Just walk, Kate. Keep walking."

I did. But now I wish I hadn't. I wish I'd phased. Or... I don't know. Hit someone? I know that isn't what Charles taught us but there are times when I wonder how long we can remain peaceful. How long before we have no other choice but to fight or be killed?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Thank you so much for sharing this. I don't have any answers, but we need to be thinking about these questions.

I feel like we're at a turning point. But of what exactly, I'm not sure.

Are things going to get better for mutants now that we're thinking more about these issues? Or does bringing our powers to light risk us?

A little from A, a little from B? Hiding who and what we are doesn't help in the long run, since it just makes it easier to see us as "other", but it does mean we survive to get to that long run. I guess that's why I joined the X-Men - I'm not afraid for myself, but I am afraid for those who can't protect themselves and I wanted to be able to protect them. So I guess that's my thought on your question - I won't be the aggressor, but I will fight to protect others. Those of us who can owe it to those of us who can't.

But at what point is protection alone not enough?

I wish the nature of my power was more aggressive. Sometimes I feel like I literally can't protect anyone, at least not like others can.

Been wondering a lot of the same stuff since everything went down with those bastards. We're supposed to take the high road and all that, but eventually the only thing that's going to do is kill us. It feels like we either die with our morals or live on their level. And both of those things suck.

And it isn't like the world will let us just retire in quiet either. The minute someone finds out what we can do, everything changes.

I've spent a lot of time running from making a choice between those two options you mentioned. I wonder how much longer I can pull that off.

Kitty, could we meet sometime this week? I have been working on a project with a friend in regards to the CoH and I would like to discuss something with you in regards to the storyy you told here.

Of course. Anything I can do to be of help.

The problem with not doing anything in response to hate, out of fear, out of a desire to not create waves, out of whatever, is that the lack of response teaches those who hate that it is okay. That there will not be consequences for their hateful actions.

Violence isn't always the answer, the time is not always right for action, but there must be something that can be done as well.

I just haven't figured out what it is.

Maybe we should picket THEIR church.

that....maybe? How does that work?

Signs that say "I Love you even though you're a racist hater?"

I don't even know. I'm not sure that kind of message would even get through.

Why do people join groups like that to begin with? I guess going after the root cause is the only way we could effect some sort of change.

Usually, people like that are looking for community and they find it in hate.